Another week spent at the convent. A student asked me today if my convent gig was in preparation for entering! My dear heavens no! I can’t exactly say, “been there, done that”, but…years ago (about 25), when I was a student at SFSU I did spend a week at St. Francis House. I felt a call to the religious life and thought the Franciscans would be a good fit.
Sr. A (the one with whom I did Compline) was at the time the Sr. Provincial in charge of all the sisters in the US. We went for a walk in the neighborhood and we spoke about what I was doing in school and so forth. I said that after getting my MA in Philosophy and that I wanted to go for the PhD in ancient Greek philosophy. I mentioned also that I wanted to teach at the college level. On top of that, I was discerning a call to the Episcopal priesthood.
I don’t remember her exact words, but Sr. A said something like: “Well, you know dear, the Community will assess its needs. If you’re a member, the community’s needs will come first. We might not need a priest or a philosophy professor.”
Gulp! I didn’t start packing my bags immediately, but it was clear to me that I had held a far different view of what living in a religious community was like than was the actual lived experience. I simply couldn’t take the “chance” that I would not be given “permission” to continue my studies. I felt strongly that the academic path was the path for me.
Yes, the realization about what one gives up was a bit scary. I remember telling my spiritual director about my “rude awakening”. He said, “It sounds to me as though you were looking for a womb with a view.” He was right. I was imaging convent life along the lines of roommate life: hanging out with people you like, all of you of one mind, doing neat spiritual activities together. What’s not to like?!
Oy! Anyway, this period with the sisters is only to make life a little easier for me. Instead of commuting 50 miles to school twice a week, I only do it once a week. And I have a nice day of work at school or at the convent on Wednesday. The price can’t be beat . $40 including meals – that’s per week, not per night! Yes, in San Francisco! Plus, I get all the prayers I could possibly want at no extra charge.