Wednesday before evening prayer I actually joined the sisters in silent meditation.
It was so quiet! I’ve done silent mediation before. I think if I hadn’t I’d have burst a blood vessel or something. Wednesday was a busy day for me. Well, it’s been a busy semester thus far. I wanted to conduct a little experiment. Could I be still? Could I lay it all down and simply be?
For thirty minutes – no cell phone, no email, no web surfing, no paper grading, no course prep, nada. Nothing except, yes, the myriad of thoughts that danced by. But even there I was able to focus on a simple phrase to help block out the internal noise. I also studied the really cool icon of Francis they had underneath the altar. It was very modern and not in the model of a Russian icon, for instance.
The reading from the Rule of St. Francis that morning was on chastity. The sisters are celibate. But chastity isn’t only about not having sex. (I’ll save that for another post.) So I meditated on how I could be more chaste.
Most of us probably zone out in front of the TV or we curl up with a magazine or book. Those activities do take us away from ourselves in a sense. Sometimes the “escapism” is a good thing, sometimes its not. But to be quiet and to be with oneself is a different kind of “time out”.
I wonder if Buddhist parents give their kids a “meditative” time out? That would be interesting. Perhaps it would be too much to ask of a kid who’s having a meltdown.
My thirty minute “time out” when by quickly. I was surprised. I frankly didn’t know how long they were going to keep the silence. (Yes, I should have checked ahead of time!!)
Could I do it at home? I’m not sure. There’s always the option of “praying ceaselessly” but that’s not what’s going on with these periods of silence. In other words, one can maintain a sense of mindfulness throughout the day and while doing all your activities. This period of silence was a different kind of mindfulness and attention.
I’m glad I did it. Will I do it again with the sisters? Maybe. I have to confess that I did cycle through a little bit of “Oh my God I am so busy. I have a gazillion things that need to be done. I don’t have time to “waste” sitting around doing “nothing” — literally! — for thirty minutes.
I’m grateful for having the thought come to me that it is precisely in such harried, stressed out times that we could use a little “time out” like this.